a few reMarks

So I received my annual review results for last year recently, and have been asked to write in the comments section. For the audience to know: the 3 is the lowest rating possible in our rating system.
Below I have presented two versions of my employee comments section. I was told by a friend that I should write what they want to hear if I am to keep my job.

"They say, receiving a blow when you are expecting it hurts more than one you don’t anticipate at all. Receiving this 3 on my 2008 PMP, was not surprising. It is a painful reminder that not everyone is the same and that different groups have certain expectations that not everyone can meet. IGS, now EUS, is about fixing computers, and last year I just brought too much energy to other endeavors. In 2009, I will focus on fixing computers and anything else C****** or EUS asks from me to give fully. I have learned that it does not benefit the company to have individuality and express ideas. I will await my marching orders rather than trot to my own beat. EUS and C****** can expect from me a compliant and absolute obedient employee, follower of the “C***** Way” henceforth."

Now here's the one, I have 'guss'd up', because as my friend stated, my initial foray is too condescending and mocking.

"I have learned quite a bit about how C****** works over the year. Not just what the pamphlets and classes tell you, but the true inner workings of how large corporations function and the employee’s place in the system. In relation to that realization, I obviously did not meet those expectations. However, with this newfound knowledge, End-User Support can expect a wholly different and functioning employee in 2009. I will work on digesting completely the company mantra and ideals of “The C****** Way.” I will focus, undeniably and completely the task of End-User Support: fixing computers. To that end, I will grow my technical prowess and perform whatever task End-User Support asks of me."

I have come to realize the company is like a religion. They want unquestioned loyalty, fealty, and if necessary my death if it serves it best for the company. Probably best not to make too much fuzz over this, lest any of the pastors of the company/church/temple decide to molest me further.