I keep a Google notebook full of copy and pastings, and I just realized I had this little gem saved away, from roughly a year and a half ago. I am going to post it here for posterity, and for any to chime in and add comments. However, unsure if anyone is still around to read this.
Mark: what are your thoughts on male caprees
me: i think i've only seen then on european soccer players
superstar european soccer players
so you know they got the balls to do it
i've always thought of them as a female only domain
Mark: well there is an article about how more designers are shortening the hem on their pants in the wsj this morning
like brooks brothers is doing it to their high end suits
me: well there is the Thom Browne style
Mark: so there is no break just touches the top of the shoe
me: ultra conservative
and his pants are damn near high-waters
and people are digging that
Mark: yeah thats the article
me: i suppose for those of the lankier persuation, that would work out well
like you
Mark: idk man i don tthik i would ever rock it
Sent at 8:52 AM on Thursday
me: i mean, i like where the pants are cut soo close that it just touches the top of your shoe, producing no break
and you get to flash some sock when you sit down
but when standing you are showing off ankle completely, that's a bit much for me
Sent at 8:54 AM on Thursday
Mark: agreed
i mean being a tall skinny guy i have spent most of my life battling for non high water pants
apparently you cant be thin and have long legs
Sent at 8:56 AM on Thursday
me: well i think that's what some fashion designers decided to go with
just straight in your face
Mark: as we slowly write another blog post haha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFaOE0b47jU&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Efreecomicbookday%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded
I am a huge geek for comics. Despite my charm and debonair flair and athletic prowess. (That was sarcasm), I easily get lost in comics. They provide me with escape, rattle my mind with fantastical tales, improve my vocabulary, and most importantly: entertain me. Free comic book day, this year is May 2nd, and you should go out there and pick-up a comic.
Oh and for all you do-gooders out there, this is a message about fighting illiteracy too. Something something about doing good and teaching literacy so that the people of world/this nation can begin their road to education and knowledge.
So I received my annual review results for last year recently, and have been asked to write in the comments section. For the audience to know: the 3 is the lowest rating possible in our rating system.
Below I have presented two versions of my employee comments section. I was told by a friend that I should write what they want to hear if I am to keep my job.
"They say, receiving a blow when you are expecting it hurts more than one you don’t anticipate at all. Receiving this 3 on my 2008 PMP, was not surprising. It is a painful reminder that not everyone is the same and that different groups have certain expectations that not everyone can meet. IGS, now EUS, is about fixing computers, and last year I just brought too much energy to other endeavors. In 2009, I will focus on fixing computers and anything else C****** or EUS asks from me to give fully. I have learned that it does not benefit the company to have individuality and express ideas. I will await my marching orders rather than trot to my own beat. EUS and C****** can expect from me a compliant and absolute obedient employee, follower of the “C***** Way” henceforth."
Now here's the one, I have 'guss'd up', because as my friend stated, my initial foray is too condescending and mocking.
"I have learned quite a bit about how C****** works over the year. Not just what the pamphlets and classes tell you, but the true inner workings of how large corporations function and the employee’s place in the system. In relation to that realization, I obviously did not meet those expectations. However, with this newfound knowledge, End-User Support can expect a wholly different and functioning employee in 2009. I will work on digesting completely the company mantra and ideals of “The C****** Way.” I will focus, undeniably and completely the task of End-User Support: fixing computers. To that end, I will grow my technical prowess and perform whatever task End-User Support asks of me."
I have come to realize the company is like a religion. They want unquestioned loyalty, fealty, and if necessary my death if it serves it best for the company. Probably best not to make too much fuzz over this, lest any of the pastors of the company/church/temple decide to molest me further.
me: ...
you fail to tell me that your fiancé's sister is having a b-day party?
i could've canceled my flight
you killing me man
Sent at 10:42 AM on Friday
me: if I end up there, Mike, I am going to drink myself into a dirty mess
Sent at 10:44 AM on Friday
Michael: whelp, this all came up within the last week
me: come on! you didn't tell her that Dr. Troy was coming?!
see! its happening man
Michael: what do you mean
me: its already happening
Michael: andrew you're being ridiculous
Sent at 11:04 AM on Friday
me: am I? or are you turning already?!
Michael: turning? into what?
me: what's gonna happen, we can't party too late out Sat night, because you gotta go to Bed Bath and Beyond sunday? Maybe Target? Home Depot? not enough time? not enough time?!
Michael: lol
ok, now you're talking crazy
we're gonna go out tonight, hit up the south bay
me: tell me there will be some familiar faces
Sent at 11:07 AM on Friday
Michael: yeah, rod
haha, everyone else has things going on
me: that's fine with me, Rod'll be nice to see
someone who's not locked up and crazy
Michael: right
cause when you're locked up, you must be crazy
me: hey, i'm not the one engaged at the ripe young age of 24
As the entire economy goes the way of last week’s pot roast, one finds them self looking for any opportunity to save a few pennies. Scouring through my finances and observing the inverse relationship between the 48% loss in my 401k and my blood pressure; it hit me, reduce my taxable income. This allows me to have more money in my pocket month to month while having the luxury of NOT funding these poorly executed bailouts, essentially growing your top line while keeping your bottom line constant. How you ask? Simply get married.
I know your thinking; well I am not seeing anyone right now. That’s the beautiful part; this is purely a marriage for a tax break. According to Forbes married couples pay 29% of their combined salaries in taxes. This is compared to the 35% that their single counterparts fork over every year in taxes. The next question that probably comes to mind is the relatively small upside for a potential huge investment into this “loveless” marriage. Well what makes this works is the rock solid prenuptial agreement that must be in place (please note I am not a lawyer nor do I have any legal advice. Anything on this page is purely opinionated commentary and should not be construed as legitimate advice in anyway). Here are a few of the important things to cover:
1. This marriage does not entitle either of the participating parties to their partners assets including current, past or future.
2. By agreeing to be wed, both parties acknowledge this is not an entitlement to a formal wedding, ring or any reception. Instead the agreement provides for the minimum ceremony allowed by law for the two be legal married.
3. This marriage does not entitle either party to food, shelter, or emotional support of any kind.
4. Finally this marriage is not time bound in anyway. Both parties agree to remain together until either/both parties find their “love bound” marriage partner and mutually agree to a separation. At which point the marriage will be legally voided by court order without a disposition of assets.
I know this sounds a bit harsh, but it’s to provide both parties with the maximum benefit. In fact the two people never even have to see each other. Once a year they both just need to drop their W-2s and 1099s off at the same accountant. I think this just might work……
Since efficiency and watchful consumption seems to be all the rage these days, I found this pretty interesting. The artwork is pretty stunning, but the accompanying statistics are terrifying. Now my educational background had me graze up against plenty of statistics, and I personally don't really believe in the numbers, but the very idea makes you think a little about how what you do adds up with the rest of the world.
Link via (MocoLoco)
A lot of events occurred over the past month, and this blog has missed some updates. However stick around, rest assured we got some more posts coming soon. Summer yaknow, adventures must occur.
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